Quaran28

I’m going to tell you a little story about my birthday this year. Last Thursday I turned 28 and it turned out Jon had scheduled a job to run that whole evening. Apparently when the homeowner asked for Thursday he didn’t realize that was the day his Queen was placed on this earth so he said “sure why not!” And scheduled it to go until at least 9 pm. Awesome. Cute. Love you sweetie! So that morning I woke up and was kind of feeling sorry for myself. Not only because of my husband’s freakin shenanigans but also because it’s quarantine so I knew there‘d be nothing happening that day. No lunch no birthday pedicure NOTHING.

I thought to myself you know what? If my husband and the rest of America isn’t going to treat me to a whole day of me time then yuh girl is gonna hook herself UP. So what do I do? Clickety clack grubhub come back. I get on there and order myself a gourmet breakfast. A breakfast skillet, bacon, sausage links, THE WORKS. Sang myself a little happy birthday to me and waited for my meal. At this point the kids are up which means my morning is now a rush and I periodically check my phone to see when it should be coming. “Your order should be arriving soon!” Frick yeah swing my shirt over my head let’s get this party STARTED. I went back to caring for the kids and after about 10/15 minutes I think dang, I thought it said it’d be here soon? With all this pandemic stuff they’ve just been leaving it on my porch and texting to say it’s here so I waited a few more minutes before going down to check and wow. Let me just tell you what I saw. My Village Inn bag no longer containing my food but instead dragged into the bushes. BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE. Not only was my bag in the bushes but my styrofoam container was sitting perfectly on my porch with a giiiant hole chewed out of the side and boom. Sitting on my stairs were my sweet angel baby pancakes and my breakfast skillet. You might be thinking what the hell? Who did this? I’ll tell you who. The local squirrel gang who runs rampant through my neighborhood. FREAKIN THUGS.

So if you’re wondering how my 28th year started it was first full of joy and hope for the future only to be CRUSHED by my husband, a pandemic, and the G dang squirrel gang. I don’t often have pity parties but when I do... they’re on my birthday 😊


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